Ok…..an update on us.

We are doing much better-at least physically.

My kiddos & I may take a loooong time when it comes to emotional healing, though.

I am functioning on only Advil today, which is a HUGE blessing!

The other meds were making me feel weird an hour or so after I took them!

I went to the dentist today,

& they fixed the small chip I had lost from one of my top front teeth.

As we take stock of bruises & scrapes,

I seem the worst off, then perhaps Ana,

(who is sore on her chest like me-

where there is no bruise,

but it seems to be way below the surface that is sore).

Ruthie has scrapes & bruising on her neck where her car seat straps hit it

& she bit her tongue really hard on both sides.

Natty has bruising on his neck as well,

& it seems his pacifier cut his upper lip in the impact.

Now, the emotional healing……I don’t know. L

Every time I lay down, the events that happened Friday noonish replay themselves in my head.

The “What if’s” keep flashing through my head as well.

These two thoughts are the worst:

“What if I had seen the SUV earlier?

Could I have avoided hitting them?”

& “What if the timing had been different?

Natty could have been the one bearing the brunt of the accident!”

I KNOW these things didn’t happen….but the battle in my head is sooooo hard to fight!

Perhaps the worst thing for me as a mommy, though is this:

Ruthie is SCARED to DEATH to go anywhere!

Last night, we went to evening church (after replacing both carseats) & she sobbed all the way there & back. Nothing anyone did brought her any comfort. She kept up this constant stream of:

~Shaking anytime the car moved in a direction she wasn’t expecting
~Saying, “Daddy, stop it the car! Bease! (please!)!” “Mommy, hode you me!”

~Sobbing until her tears covered the front of her carseat & coat.

~Craning her neck to see out the front & make sure we weren’t going to hit anything.


We tried praying, singing, holding her hands…..nothing worked to stop her fear!
Oh, it just makes me want to cry now-just thinking about her fear!
Ana felt so bad, because usually, she can make Ruth feel better, but not last night!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, I think things are a bit better.

We had to take Dave to work this am, because Natty needed bloodwork drawn-we are having all sorts of tests run to try & figure out the source of his diarrhea.

Ruth needed us to explain every move the car made…..but there was only a bit of the crying. She still wanted Ana holding her hand the whole way….but she was able to play with the toys Ana brought trying to distract her!

(Just as a side note-how lucky am I???
My 7 year old is thinking about how to take care of her baby sister!!!
I have been soooo proud of Ana!!!!)

Dave & I are wondering if Ruthie might need to see a psychologist to work through this-
we will keep you posted!

We are thankful Ana shows NO signs of being afraid-& when I ask her, she says “No….I know that probably won’t ever happen again!” She *is* hyper vigilant that we not even start the car until her seat belt is buckled, though, which we are grateful for!

I am sitting on my couch this afternoon, basking in the sunlight streaming in my living room window, after waking up from a LOOOONG afternoon nap. All that driving around WORE me out, physically & emotionally.

(& to be honest, I am dreading the first time I have to drive through that intersection again. People have told me I may never approach it with out a bit of fear/caution!)

Thanks for reading all of this,
& for your continued prayers as I think we may still have a very long road of healing in front of us.

But, as they say, time is the best healer!