Ugg...

Started something new......& it's backfiring.  :(

I don 't know if I have ever been this honest on my blog before, but Ruthie is really struggling right now. 

Adoption may sound all romantic & sweet.  But it's not all the time.

She has SUCH anxiety right now-over everything.  It all started when I took her to see a picture of her birthmother that we have stored in our safety deposit box. 

Tonight, (& last night) anxiety reared it's ugly head again, when after reading a story w/ Ana at bedtime, she no longer wanted to go to her room & climb into bed.

Buckets of tears over wanting to sleep w/ Ana.  And being afraid to sleep in her own room.

We got through it tonight.....after a long walk through the house, shutting windows & doors, locking the house & setting the house alarm-together.  But, I still had to sit outside her room for her to fall asleep.

I used to resent this.  But, in the last few months, the Lord has granted me TRUE compassion toward her in this area, & I long to give her the re-assuance she so desperately needs. 

I used to "poo-poo" the idea that she might need more vocal assurance that we LOVE HER-every day.  But, I have seen the power of telling her (several times a day) that we love her, & that she is & will always be-OURS!

And for now, these are small things I can do for her, that prove to her I love her. 

Ruthie-Full of Questions....some easy, some a bit more difficult.

She & I went to the safety deposit box over Christmas to see her Birthmother's picture.  We have not shown anyone else their birthmom's picture, because there is so little about their adoption that is theirs to control. 

This way, at least to see/not see their birthmom is up to them. 

And honestly, she has started to ask more simple questions about why she & Nat look different than us.  Daddy & I always tell her how beautiful she is (of course), & as other questions come up, we try to answer them as honestly & openly as we can. 

One blessing that has opened up recently, is that we have struck up a friendship w/ another family that has an older bio son & a daughter a week younger than Ruthie, also adopted from Guatemala.  (we met at the zoo-how bizzare is that?)

Ruthie loves talking about her new friend, & she loves that they both share some of the same story.....you know? 

We had them over for some playtime last weekend......& they enjoyed a few hours together.  They even did a pretty good job including Nat! 

Here they all are together-

beautiful, are they not? 

Tres Años (Three Years-Feb. 29th....)

Are you sure?!? Sometimes it seems like yesterday, & sometimes it seems he’s always been w/ us.

Feb. 29th, 2008, we flew home from Guatemala w/ Nat.

Because it’s such a cool date (Leap Day, & all that), that’s the date we picked for our “Natty Day.”

We actually got custody of him Feb. 23rd of that year, but I always wanted a something to celebrate on that day. I know, I know, there’s probably a few of you who are thinking, “Yeah, just try having a birthday on that then!”

We have fairly simple celebrations for these special days around here. Guatemalan food for supper tomorrow & some “Tres Leches“ cake for dessert.

Here’s one of our favorites recipes from the Guatemalan cookbook “False Tongues & Sunday Bread.” Served up w/ some homemade tortillas……& the memories come flooding back.


P.S. I'm afraid I don't have any recent pics of him by himself. Life has been crazy lately! Check out my previous post, though-cause he sure is cute in that family snapshot!!!

Re-Posting......guess "Mama Norma" must be on my heart.....

This originally was posted in November of 2007, after we got back from visiting Natty in Guatemala....before his adoption was finalized.


WARNING.......VERY LONG... Also, may need your kleenex!!



I have a few thoughts that have been dancing around in my brain. This is long, but it will help me to think it through.

Norma Patricia ******* ********. This name might not mean much to you, but…..


She is our Guatemaltco’s BirthMother


When our Foster Mother was dropping Nathaniel off for the week w/ us, we spent about 4 hours together-first in the hotel restaurant, & then in the hotel lobby.


JUST AS AN ASIDE:
Ana & her granddaughter (Paula-age 5) spent most of that time playing together-in spite of the language difference. Picture Ana running around saying, “Ven aqui, Paula!” which basically means, “Come here, Paula!” This is about all the real communicating there was…..but they sure ran around looking very agenda oriented!! But…I digress….back to the real story.


A few times while we visited-(me in my broken Spanish & her in her broken English-her daughter trying to help -& Dave just kind of listening & following Ana & Paula around), her cell would ring. This is not un-usual, but there in Guate, cells are about the only reliable phone service, so people are CONSTANLY on the phone.


Once, the phone rang, & I noticed a difference in Mama Anna’s tone. She started to get a bit emotional, turned to me & said, “Es Norma. Es la mama de los ninos.” If you don’t know Spanish, she was telling me that is was the babies Birthmother!!!


Wow! I literally was glad I wasn’t standing up!! I felt myself go weak. It took me a bit to even be able to figure out words to tell Dave what was going on.


Then….(I have to insert here-I’m so glad I can understand Spanish)…I heard her start to talk about how she was sad that Norma couldn’t be there w/ us to see the LOVE Ruth has had showered on her this past year. (Our children’s Birth Mother was in a terrible car accident right before Natty was born & is still on crutches & un-able to get around easily-almost 4 mo. later-thus she couldn’t be there). I HAD NO IDEA her coming had even been a possibility.


She told her that Ruth & Ana were beautiful & delightful.


She told me that Norma wanted to communicate how THANKFUL she was to us for taking two of her children. Many times, Mama Anna repeated this to us.


I was SO frustrated. All I could say, through Mama Anna & through my choking up throat was please tell her, “Gracias, tambien. Tus ninos son un regalo de Dios para nuestra familia!” In English-“Thank-you. Your children are a gift from God for our family.”


So much more to say to each other…….but no words really in English or Spanish. How do I tell her what a blessing Ruth has been, & I know Nathaniel will be? Ruth, whose name means “satisfaction” has helped heal hearts torn apart w/ grief over our child who we never saw open her eyes. Oh, my…tearing up!!!


We two mothers are forever united…..her because she loved enough to let go

And me….because God led us to each other & blessed our family w/ her offspring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Some of you may ask:


Did that contact bother you?

No!!!! Not at all! Actually, Dave & I always wondered what we would do-search for birth family for them, maintain contact, or just leave it the way it has been….knowing very little about their Birth Family.


But, we realized, when presented w/ the opportunity, we were actually disappointed she didn’t come. Just to be able to tell her in person, “Thank-you!” Watch her reactions to seeing Ruth toddling around trying to keep up w/ Ana. Hug her myself , most likely cry together…..her for what she is missing & me for the JOY she has brought to my life!!! Tears of happiness & sadness, mingled together.


Are you threatened by her contact?

Again, a resounding NO!!!


She has already placed one child before making an adoption plan for Ruth. I KNOW she KNOWS what she’s doing….out of love, choosing a better life for her children.


Guatemalans who choose this route for their children are very strong people. She knows that once she makes this decision, (& signs off on it the required 4 times throughout the adoption process) she will most likely NEVER see them or have contact w/ them again. Imagine the pain of that decision. But, she’s done it twice now, & Nathaniel will be the third time.


How could I have been anything but thrilled for her if she gets to see for her own eyes that her babies are loved & provided for?


Also, along w/ that…..I know my children will always know who their “real” parents are. She is “connected” to them forever, but we are the ones that will teach them to walk, rock them when they cry, feed them, listen to their first words, teach them about our Savior, Jesus Christ, & watch all those milestones. Just like we have done w/ Ana Eventually,….we hope to raise adults that love & honor the Lord Jesus & have a close relationship w/ us & their siblings. . That is what makes a family…..not blood. But love….1 Cor. 13! “The greatest of these is love.” (By the way….I do not mean to minimize her part in this at all-w/ out her…..we would still just be a family of three-& we would never have had the blessing of hearts enter-twined as they now are.)

Reminded me again that children are just a blessing from the Lord, on loan to us for a short time. God drew the two of us together-a woman from Colorado Springs & a brave woman from Guatemala, raising 3 children in absolute poverty. In the short 5 min. or so she was on the phone, I was CHANGED FOREVER!!! I HAD been going through this adoption process w/out much thought for her (mostly bec., I haven’t had TIME to just sit & contemplate it!!!!!). But….no longer. Now, I see the world more through her eyes, & am forever grateful she made the decision she has made.


Am I sorry we didn’t meet?
YES!!! But,…..like so many other times in this adoption process, I am trusting that God has His hands on us, & KNEW what would be right for that day, & those circumstances.

Praying that if we don’t meet here on earth, one day I can thank her in heaven…..when we will all speak the same language, & in that PERFECT environment, I WILL have the words to say.


It’s not enough…..but “Thank –you, Norma!” y “Muchas gracias!” I am SO BLESSED by your presence in my life!


ETA: Just wondering.....what would you have done? Anything different? I would really like some advice here...the whole experience was so unexpected.....

Well, it’s happened……

Around the lunch table yesterday, Ana & I were talking about when she was really little & some cute thing she said or did-I can’t really remember.

(there were sooo many cute things she said & did, how’s an *unbiased* mom like me supposed to remember WHICH one we were talking about-wink!)

Anyway……in the random way 3 YO brains work, Ruthie, out of the blue, said, “Mommy, was I born in your tummy?”

Huh? Isn’t she a bit young to wonder about that?

I mean, by the way she worded her question, I thought she might be thinking there was a possibility she wasn’t. Isn’t she too young to catch on that most kids are “born in their mommy’s tummy?”-but she might not have been? (Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I think I know her pretty well.)

“No, actually, you weren’t, Ruthie. You were born in Mama Norma’s tummy in Guatemala” I excitedly informed her-because I really have looked forward to these types of conversations!

I feel like her “story” is such an interesting & unique one, & it has soooo many distinct answers to prayer, that I can’t wait for her to know/understand it all.

Now, I know there are sad parts to it-& they may be especially hard for her one day (I can’t even share them all with anyone in the family). But, her parents will be there for those conversations & difficult feelings as well.

But, mostly, I want her to always know what a privilege it is-that GOD chose HER for our family. & HE, alone, performed all the miracles it took to get her here! Now, we are on our way with these types of conversations!

She’s so funny though, because then she laughed a HUGE, BELLY laugh at my answer, & said, “Noooo!” (Like, “really?!?! You’re kidding me, right?”)

I said, again, “You really were born in Mama Norma’s tummy in Guatemala, Ruthie.”

Then, she asked, “Ana born in your tummy, Mommy?”

Yes.

What a blessed mama I am!
Blessed by birth in more ways than one!

Anyway, we are now, officially entering a new stage-where our *adopted* children will begin to understand their entrance to the family. Praying they always feel comfortable talking with us about their adoptions, & that we raise them with healthy attitudes toward their own adoption stories.

If you have adopted, how did these conversations start in your family? How did you handle questions like this?

Well, here we go again!

Ruth has a fever now.
Very low grade, but enough for me to drug her & send her to bed!

Tonight is a “random stream of consciousness” post.

A bit of parenting, a bit of adoption “stuff”

& finally, a bit of kitchen success!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK, how can we get Ruth to STOP torturing her brother.

I kid you not-at least 10-15 times a day.

The other day-oh, yeah, the first day Natty had a fever (106, remember?) we were all sitting on the couch together watching TV & waiting for Dave to come home & take over child care so I could take Natty to the ER. Ruth picks up a toy hammer & hits him on the head.

Help! I’m not sure the child will make it to his second birthday!!!

Any ideas? It is very hard to separate them due to the layout of our house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, Ana has suddenly become a voracious reader.
You know how it is. It just clicks & they take off!
She is reading anything she can get her hands on!!!

She loves anything to do with horses &

several people have given her “horse stories.”

As she devoured this latest one, she told me one day,

“Mom, Tiffany didn’t know she was adopted.”

(She almost always gives me no context,

so my first response was, “HUH?!?! Who IN THE WORLD is Tiffany???”)

“Well, Mom, this girl in the horse story I’m reading.

Her mommy & daddy didn’t tell her she was adopted.

Her brother told her & he told her to keep it a secret.”

(My mind is going a mile a minute-& I’m praying I get some extra wisdom!!)

I thought-“I might need to get my hands on this little book, huh?

I hope the attitudes toward adoption are something we want to foster!”

So, that night, I picked it up & started reading.

(Now, I ask you, if you’re not a mom, would you ever pick up a 2nd grader’s horse book??? I can think of a whole lot of ways I’d RATHER spend my reading time. Ha!!! Ha!!!)

Turns out it’s fine.

Matter of fact, it was probably GREAT.

The heroine is very open about how she feels about her adoption,

& it gave Ana a glimpse into what our other kids may feel one day.

Ana & I sat down & discussed that Ruth & Natty & her can always talk to each other about the adoptions. I was able to tell her that there may be questions about it that Natty & Ruth have for her that she can’t answer.

& Ana said, “Like questions about their birth mama?”

Ahhhh……wise beyond her years.

“Yes, Ana. Like that. Or ones about their birth family.”

I told her that Daddy & I know some more than her,

& that some of that is information that we will share with them when & if they want it.

And she can ask questions.

We may not be able to answer them all,

but we will sure always be open to talking about it-

with her, with Ruthie & with Natty.

It will never be the elephant in the room in our home, so to speak.

Who knew that reading a simple children’s book would open up a good conversation that relates to our lives-all of our lives-right now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

& finally, the kitchen success!

Do you know what this is:

I was SO excited when I found it yesterday, & it helped round out our Guatemalan meal of Pepian de Pollo (a chicken soup) & Frijoles Negros (refried black beans) perfectly!

I bet you know!

Sometimes this adoption journey is just a bit strange….

Or at least brings strange emotions to the surface. Emotions that sometimes can’t even be put into words…

Like Friday….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A bit of background…for you..

Natty was born 6 weeks prematurely.

As a result, we have been playing a game of developmental catch-up.

At the pediatrician’s office during his initial evaluation, our outstanding Dr. suggested that we might want him to be seen by some specialists.

Friday, the long-awaited day finally arrived. The two girls were left with a sitter (thank-you, Amy!!!), & I put the one child I was left with, into his car-seat & off we went…

(just as an aside-you know that feeling of missing something??? That’s how my car felt! Without the girls, that van is eerily quiet! Must be a “boy” thing!!)

The physical, occupational & speech therapists all thoroughly examined him while watching him play. Next week, I go back to get the results of that, as well as the hundreds of questions I was asked about him…..


Which brings me to this weird emotion I can’t quite put my finger on…

I couldn’t answer whole pages of information…..

Questions like,

“How was your pregnancy?” Ummmm….I wasn’t pregnant…

“Mother’s health history” Have a little of that.

“Father’s health history” Don’t know….

“Is your child’s paternal grandfather/grandmother still living?” Don’t know….

“Any health issues on mother’s/father’s side?” Yet again, don’t know…

And on & on it went…& I knew almost nothing of it…

Let me see if I can describe these feelings….

A bit lost….like I should know the answers….he’s my SON, after all.

A bit empty…..something seemed missing…but, there was no way to find it.

A bit confused……don’t know why I felt that way, but….

A bit sad…..because I want all that info for them…but I have no way of getting it. And also sad, because these vital people who gave them life…..can never again contribute to my children’s lives….& my heart just hurts for their birth family.

And finally…..I felt a bit privileged that God chose us to handle this parenting responsibility.

*************************************

Whew!!!!

I sat there with the papers in my hand…..& I suddenly began to realize……maybe this “feeling” I can’t put my finger on is just a little bit of what adopted children feel down the road, when they start to understand the way they came to be a part of our family.

I don’t know…..

When we were going through our adoption training, the social worker we went through to get our homestudy done said something to me I hope I never forget…

“For an adopted child, remember the feelings associated with the fact that they are adopted are happy.

But, the feelings associated with the fact that they were ‘relinquished’ (today’s proper term for placing a baby for adoption) are sad.”

Two diametrically opposed emotions…..forever entwined, though one act: adoption.

For those of you who have adopted or are adopted, what do you think? Have you had those types of emotions? How have you handled them? Have you labeled them? How can we address these emotions with them?

Hoping this discussion will help us be better parents to all our children down the road….

(Yes, even to Ana, who will be a sibling to adopted children her whole life….& she may have emotions associated w/ it that we will need to be prepared for).

Thursdays Before the Throne, & Our OUTSTANDING Case Worker!!!

Verses that touched my heart throughout our adoption process
(& speaking of adoption.......scroll to the bottom to see pics of me & the kids w/ our case worker-after you read my blog, of course! )

Psalm 61:2-8

2 From the end of the earth
I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.


3 For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.
4 I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;
I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah

5 For You, O God, have heard my vows;
You have given me the heritage of those who fear Your name.

6 You will prolong the king’s life,
His years as many generations.


7 He shall abide before God forever.
Oh, prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him!


8 So I will sing praise to Your name forever,
That I may daily perform my vows.

The Rock that is higher than I.

Matthew 7:24-29
Jesus is speaking

Build on the Rock


24 “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them,

I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock:
25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house;

and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.
26 “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them,

will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand:
27 and the rain descended, the floods came,

and the winds blew and beat on that house;

and it fell. And great was its fall.”
28 And so it was, when Jesus had ended these sayings,

that the people were astonished at His teaching,
29 for He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.

1 Corinthians 10:4….and that Rock was Christ.

*********************************************

The promised pics!!

& Oh, one other EXCITING thing!

This wonderful woman is opening her OWN adoption agency on Monday!

If you are even considering an international adoption, no one will work harder on your behalf than Kelly, so make sure you check her out first!

Also, feel free to contact me w/ any questions!

&, finally, cuteness unleashed! Teething on an apple slice!

God's Still, Small, Voice

Perusing my typical blogs last night, I came upon this from Renee (kidsrus-on the Sonlight forums)

I KNEW God was speaking to us.

"Ephesians 3:20-21~
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

The Lord gave me this Scripture on New Year's Eve. I have pondered in my heart so many times over the last several days as I have prayed for word from the Embassy.

Every time I would think the approval won't come because of this or that circumstance the Lord lovingly brought this Word back to my heart.. "He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.." Nothing is too hard for our God. He is so good and loving that He even wants to comfort me and direct me when I take my eyes off of His power and look on my human circumstances.

So, I want to give HIM all the praise and honor and glory for He has made a way!!"

They are in the process of adopting from Ghana.

You can read the rest of her exciting news here.

But, I realised it was no accident I clicked on her blog to see their news. It was a word for us, too! God is able to do abundantly more & above all we ask or think!

Perhaps today will be the day!

December 18th, 2006.....

Now, the promised pictures of our first anniversary!

Kissing her Guatemalan slippers, which she LOVES & wants to wear every day!

"Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,

And for His wonderful works to the children of men!

For He satisfies the longing soul,

And fills the hungry soul with goodness."

Psalm 107:8 & 9

One Year ago today…..

Ruth permenently found her place in my arms! Oh, how my heart had ached for her to be there!

Are there words to describe the relief/joy in my heart at that point? No. There are never words for those moments-“burdens lifted” moments that God graciously allows in everyone’s lives.

But, as most things in the Christian walk are, God used circumstances to teach us much about Himself.

Our “burdens lifted” account from last year:

Tuesday, Dec. 12th, 2006: We knew that we would be getting our Embassy appointment for Ruth’s visa any time. However, due to the Christmas Holiday, our Foster Mother was going on vacation. Our lawyer did not want Ruth to go w/ them, since we knew things were winding down, & that our case was almost done. She wanted us to get down there, or she was going to have to turn Ruth over to another foster family until things were finalized.

Thursday the 14th: We did not want that much upheaval in her little life, so, we started FRANTICALLY searching for airline tickets to Guatemala. To our horror, there were NO tickets available anywhere!! Hours were spent looking….to no avail.

Weakness literally took over my body as I realized there was likely no way to get at least me down there.

Late Friday night the 15th: Dave I finally hit the sac, having searched all day for tickets…& very sad that we would not have a way to get to her before the week after Christmas.

Sat. the 16th: Early in the morning, I had it out w/ God……& He gently reminded me that He was still in control, & I needed to trust…..clinging to His goodness, I finally let it go.

When Dave got up, he decided to call United, (he being one of their Frequent Flyers) & see what they could do.

After an hour or so of him on the phone, & me anxiously sitting next to him, & trying to decipher what the results of this phone call might be….

The Lord miraculously provided THE LAST TICKET ON UNITED THAT WHOLE WEEK!!! & true to His character-wouldn’t you know…..IT WAS 1st CLASS!!!!!

Dave & Ana flew into Guatemala City late Christmas Eve, while fireworks that Guatemalans shoot off any time they have an excuse to, exploded over the city!

Ana met her sister as she exited the airport w/ throngs of other Guatemalans flying home for Christmas. I will NEVER forget her eyes & the loving tones she spoke w/ as she met her sister for the first time-the sister she prayed for at least two years to have…..Ruth’s name means “Satisfied,” & she has filled all of our hearts completely.

Hasn’t God been good?

It is good to review how He has blessed us, especially as we wait for His blessing again!

He shall receive blessing from the LORD,

And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
Psalm 24:5

Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Heb. 12:11

Our “afterward” is coming! God did it last year & He is going to do it again!!! Can’t wait to see the miracle He will perform in Nat’s case!

(just as a funny little aside, right now she has found a water bottle & is squirting herself in the face w/ it-these are the moments I waited years to enjoy again-watching her learn about her world-just like Ana did)

*tune in later today, too, as I hope to post pictures of our big day*

Small Update on our Case:

Here is an e-mail we got from our case worker today, who has been in contact w/ our lawyer in Guatemala.

"Here is the status:

1. The file is sitting on Barrios's desk for final signature. That's the good news. The other good news is that there is no problem with the file.

2. The bad news is that as of last Friday he is on vacation until the first of the year.

3. The next hopeful good news is that POSSIBLY one of the attorneys filling in for him will be able to sign the final approval and you may not have to wait until his return.

Your lawyer will be going to PGN to try and convince someone to sign it and get it out of there asap. She will be vigilant about it I can assure you. But we have no idea if they will comply or make it sit until Barrios returns. I'll be in touch with her nearly daily and of course you'll be the first to hear as soon as I hear!"


This "Barrios" character is the last guy who has to sign off on our case in Guatemala.

Once he (or hopefully one of his representatives) signs off on it, Nathaniel will be legally ours w/ just a few more hoops to jump through before we can bring him home.


If you can, would you please pray that the substitutes would find a way to sign off on a few more cases, including ours?

What a wonderful Christmas present that news would be!

Thanks, all you faithful blog readers!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few pics from Ana's Sunday School Class Christmas program today.

Please bear w/ me.....Yes, yet another post.....but this is one I have wanted to get off my brain for a while.

WARNING.......VERY LONG... Also, may need your kleenex!!

I have a few thoughts that have been dancing around in my brain. This is long, but it will help me to think it through.

Norma Patricia ******* ********. This name might not mean much to you, but…..


She is our Guatemaltco’s BirthMother


When our Foster Mother was dropping Nathaniel off for the week w/ us, we spent about 4 hours together-first in the hotel restaurant, & then in the hotel lobby.


JUST AS AN ASIDE:
Ana & her granddaughter (Paula-age 5) spent most of that time playing together-in spite of the language difference. Picture Ana running around saying, “Ven aqui, Paula!” which basically means, “Come here, Paula!” This is about all the real communicating there was…..but they sure ran around looking very agenda oriented!! But…I digress….back to the real story.


A few times while we visited-(me in my broken Spanish & her in her broken English-her daughter trying to help -& Dave just kind of listening & following Ana & Paula around), her cell would ring. This is not un-usual, but there in Guate, cells are about the only reliable phone service, so people are CONSTANLY on the phone.


Once, the phone rang, & I noticed a difference in Mama Anna’s tone. She started to get a bit emotional, turned to me & said, “Es Norma. Es la mama de los ninos.” If you don’t know Spanish, she was telling me that is was the babies Birthmother!!!


Wow! I literally was glad I wasn’t standing up!! I felt myself go weak. It took me a bit to even be able to figure out words to tell Dave what was going on.


Then….(I have to insert here-I’m so glad I can understand Spanish)…I heard her start to talk about how she was sad that Norma couldn’t be there w/ us to see the LOVE Ruth has had showered on her this past year. (Our children’s Birth Mother was in a terrible car accident right before Natty was born & is still on crutches & un-able to get around easily-almost 4 mo. later-thus she couldn’t be there). I HAD NO IDEA her coming had even been a possibility.


She told her that Ruth & Ana were beautiful & delightful.


She told me that Norma wanted to communicate how THANKFUL she was to us for taking two of her children. Many times, Mama Anna repeated this to us.


I was SO frustrated. All I could say, through Mama Anna & through my choking up throat was please tell her, “Gracias, tambien. Tus ninos son un regalo de Dios para nuestra familia!” In English-“Thank-you. Your children are a gift from God for our family.”


So much more to say to each other…….but no words really in English or Spanish. How do I tell her what a blessing Ruth has been, & I know Nathaniel will be? Ruth, whose name means “satisfaction” has helped heal hearts torn apart w/ grief over our child who we never saw open her eyes. Oh, my…tearing up!!!


We two mothers are forever united…..her because she loved enough to let go

And me….because God led us to each other & blessed our family w/ her offspring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Some of you may ask:


Did that contact bother you?

No!!!! Not at all! Actually, Dave & I always wondered what we would do-search for birth family for them, maintain contact, or just leave it the way it has been….knowing very little about their Birth Family.


But, we realized, when presented w/ the opportunity, we were actually disappointed she didn’t come. Just to be able to tell her in person, “Thank-you!” Watch her reactions to seeing Ruth toddling around trying to keep up w/ Ana. Hug her myself , most likely cry together…..her for what she is missing & me for the JOY she has brought to my life!!! Tears of happiness & sadness, mingled together.


Are you threatened by her contact?

Again, a resounding NO!!!


She has already placed one child before making an adoption plan for Ruth. I KNOW she KNOWS what she’s doing….out of love, choosing a better life for her children.


Guatemalans who choose this route for their children are very strong people. She knows that once she makes this decision, (& signs off on it the required 4 times throughout the adoption process) she will most likely NEVER see them or have contact w/ them again. Imagine the pain of that decision. But, she’s done it twice now, & Nathaniel will be the third time.


How could I have been anything but thrilled for her if she gets to see for her own eyes that her babies are loved & provided for?


Also, along w/ that…..I know my children will always know who their “real” parents are. She is “connected” to them forever, but we are the ones that will teach them to walk, rock them when they cry, feed them, listen to their first words, teach them about our Savior, Jesus Christ, & watch all those milestones. Just like we have done w/ Ana Eventually,….we hope to raise adults that love & honor the Lord Jesus & have a close relationship w/ us & their siblings. . That is what makes a family…..not blood. But love….1 Cor. 13! “The greatest of these is love.” (By the way….I do not mean to minimize her part in this at all-w/ out her…..we would still just be a family of three-& we would never have had the blessing of hearts enter-twined as they now are.)

Reminded me again that children are just a blessing from the Lord, on loan to us for a short time. God drew the two of us together-a woman from Colorado Springs & a brave woman from Guatemala, raising 3 children in absolute poverty. In the short 5 min. or so she was on the phone, I was CHANGED FOREVER!!! I HAD been going through this adoption process w/out much thought for her (mostly bec., I haven’t had TIME to just sit & contemplate it!!!!!). But….no longer. Now, I see the world more through her eyes, & am forever grateful she made the decision she has made.


Am I sorry we didn’t meet?

YES!!! But,…..like so many other times in this adoption process, I am trusting that God has His hands on us, & KNEW what would be right for that day, & those circumstances.

Praying that if we don’t meet here on earth, one day I can thank her in heaven…..when we will all speak the same language, & in that PERFECT environment, I WILL have the words to say.


It’s not enough…..but “Thank –you, Norma!” y “Muchas gracias!” I am SO BLESSED by your presence in my life!

ETA: Just wondering.....what would you have done? Anything different? I would really like some advice here...the whole experience was so unexpected.....

NEW PHOTOS......and a bit of thinking out loud......

Poor Mama Anna. Not the best picture of her. BUT......such a sweet lady! I also thought this short sleaved outfit was a bit un-usual-for two reasons: 1. Guatemalans are ALWAYS worried about babies getting too cold. 2. What is that thing on the shirt? :)
Much better!!! MAN, is he ever cute!!
She is such a thoughtful Foster Mother.....laying him so carefully on the blanket my mom sent down for him. This is his "special blanket."
Oh, those eyes!!!
Can't wait to go & bring you home!!!

Also, we always get a medical update w/ the new pics. They told us he weighs 12 lbs, which I do not believe. I was just there two weeks ago, & I know there is NO WAY he could have gained that much in such a short time!!! Their scale must be off. But, still, everything else looks fine, so really that's not a big deal to me! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday, I was puttering around, doing some things that need doing-school, laundry etc.,when the phone rang…..


Someone at our agency!!!!! For those who have adopted, you probably understand the gammet of emotion this produces. For those of you who haven't I'll try & explain it a bit! :)


This is a bit nerve –racking when you are about 1/2way through this average 8 week review of your case, for several reasons:


1. It is always your agency that calls to tell you, “Congratulations! Your case has been approved. Your baby is now legally yours.”


2. When we have seen others get out of PGN in less than 4 weeks, it adds a bit more STRESS before you push that “Answer” button.


3. This part is always very subjective. She could be calling to tell us, “They kicked your case out for…..” This actually happens quite a bit. IF it happens, you get to fix whatever problem they find, & your case goes back in, BUT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PILE!!!!! AURGGG


4. As soon as you see that number on caller ID, the thought crosses your mind like lightening-“GOOD news or BAD news????”




Anyway, turns out it was neither. She just had a few logistics to check w/ us on!!! STRESS for nothing!!


But, it reminded me again not to worry. And this morning, I was reminded that worrying does me NO GOOD!!! He cares about all these details, & He has the right time planned for Nathaniel’s homecoming!

Reading in 1 Peter 5 this morning, I was reminded that He loves/cares for Nathaniel more than even I do.

God was saying to me, “Let go (again), & let ME handle it!”


“Casting all your care upon Him; for He cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:7


All for now, but check back later today, as I may be able to squeeze in another post w/ pics of the girls!

PRAYER REQUEST!

I know many of you are already praying for this for us.....

But, if some more of you could.....

Here is the deal....

Right now, our son's case is working it's way through PGN (the Guatemalan gov't office that oversees all foriegn adoptions). When it exits that office, he will be legally ours w/ just few more hoops to jump through on the US side & then we will be able to bring him home.

The deal is, is that right now, unless we get the news soon that his case is out of PGN, we will not be going to get him before the middle/end of Jan. My DH leaves on a 6 week business trip right around then, & can't cancel it or come home half-way though. He really wants to not be gone when it's time to go & get our new little boy.

So, please pray for a speedy exit out of this rather subjective part of the Guatemalan adoption process.

Thanks!

WOW!!! I'm SO Excited I Just Have to Share!!!!

We have two sets of friends who have gotten out of PGN THIS WEEK!!!!!!

AMAZING!!!! We are SO happy for the Rices & the Cockrums!!!

Thank-You, Lord!!!

Here are pics of both families!!!

The Rices (who I might add, were only in PGN for 3.5 WEEKS!!)

The Cockrum kids!

Congrats to both of you families & we are SO happy for both of you!

(the links to both of these family blogs are on my sidebar-"Andrea -formyboys" & "Tina & Greg")

Please Pray for Our Adoption Case Worker

We were just informed today that she is taking an emergency medical leave of absence, & will have an emergency hysterectomy on Nov. 12th.

Please pray for this woman who has bent over backwards so many times for us!

She has a 7 year old daughter, & she is a single mom.

Her name is Kelly.