I’m just……sad.
I told you last week about the baby we lost.
The five year anniversary was Nov. 30th.
I never even thought about it Monday.
Some of you might think. “That’s good. She’s probably healing.”
But, later in the week, I when I remembered, all that went through my mind was, “If I don’t remember Jesse Ramah’s life, who will? I am her mother. & I forgot.” And the tears rolled down my cheeks.
So, now, my sweet baby that I will never know this side of heaven, I want you to know-I loved you, I wanted you. My heart & arms still ache with an emptiness nothing can fill. A piece in the puzzle that makes up my heart is missing.
I’m so sorry I forgot…..
This figurine was given to us shortly after we lost the baby.I told you last week about the baby we lost.
The five year anniversary was Nov. 30th.
I never even thought about it Monday.
Some of you might think. “That’s good. She’s probably healing.”
But, later in the week, I when I remembered, all that went through my mind was, “If I don’t remember Jesse Ramah’s life, who will? I am her mother. & I forgot.” And the tears rolled down my cheeks.
So, now, my sweet baby that I will never know this side of heaven, I want you to know-I loved you, I wanted you. My heart & arms still ache with an emptiness nothing can fill. A piece in the puzzle that makes up my heart is missing.
I’m so sorry I forgot…..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*This post was completed in 25 minutes for Steady Mom’s Tuesday Challenge*
7 comments:
I completely understand your pain. It is something I also deal with all the time...the ache, the hole, the what if's. I pray for your heart my friend!
may God bless your heart ache. But you know, perhaps it slipped your consciuos mind on November 30, but little Jesse Ramah is so in your heart and your life and your soul that every day you live, you carry your Jesse with you. What I mean is your Jesse Ramah is a big part of who you are today. So every day, every moment, is one influenced by Jesse. and oh the day you see her in heaven -- what great anticipation you must have and what a joyous day (and eternity) that will be. what a beautiful name she has too.
Gardenia-that is encouraging to me....thank-you. She is a big part of who I am today.
I am so sorry Kim....
My Story's birthday was on the 26th...though Story is being cared for my a Momma on this Earth sometimes I wish I had the reassurance that she was in God's hands so I could be completely confident in her care.
Maybe that sound weird.
But, I understand some of your pain.
In my post traumatic stress counseling, we 'worked' on Story last week and I came home and cried for 2 hours.
Praying for your peace today...You won't ever truly forget your baby....No worries there my friend.
Andrea
I am so sorry for your pain! I pray God will shower you will his amazing comfort.
sigh.....story of my life.....
So sorry Kim...I feel your pain as we lost a baby at 13 1/2 weeks in 1996 and like you I am not good at remembering the actual date that we lost our baby but the memory of that pregnancy is always there...guess it is more at the back of my mind now than at the forefront like it used to be but still a grief and a pain that I'll always carry...sending hugs to you,
Anna
Post a Comment