Let’s see…..how should I begin this post.
It’s really very embarrassing.
But, in the interest of being transparent (& in the interest of my kids, who will hopefully one day read this digital scrapbook!), I thought I should reveal what happened to me this afternoon!
My children have lately been terrorized by a few pests in our backyard.
(Yes, snakes are one of those things, but, thankfully, this story has NOTHING to do with those messengers of Satan!)
In this case, my precious children are being dive bombed by wasps. So far, we have escaped any stings, but, the way these things circle & hover by your head is down-right scary!!
So, this afternoon-I finally had HAD it!!!
I successfully used the can of RAID on one nest, & decided it was time to tackle the one that was up high at the top of the chimney.
(MISTAKE #1)
(The other day, the wind had been too high to actually hit the nest. It kept blowing the poison away before it could reach the nest-which was at least 15 ft in the air!)
(We will ignore the fact that I COULD have just called TERMINEX-since we have an account with them. “I can handle a simple wasp nest. I am WOMAN. Hear me roar.” -just kidding-last time I think something like that!)
Well, wouldn’t you know it-the wind began to pick up as soon as I decided to spray at that nest again!!!
I thought, “All I need is just a few extra feet. Maybe if I stand on one of the patio chairs…….?!? No, better not try that. My foot might go through the lattice work seat.” (my one smart thought of the afternoon.)
“Maybe if I turn this RUBBERMAID over & stand on it?!?”
(MISTAKE #2)You guessed it. My leg split through the bottom & I ended up with scratches all up & down that leg.
But, did I learn my lesson? NOPE. Not yet, it seemed.
Being the brilliant blond that I am……the next thought I had was,
“How about that Littl@ Tyk@s slide? Bet that would be perfect!”
(You know where this is going, right?)
Moving it over there, I did have a passing thought, “Maybe I should just call TTERMINEX……nah. I can do this! I have got to KILL THE WASPS that are terrorizing MY CHILDREN!!!”
After placing the slide carefully on the slight hill, & testing my weight gingerly, I stepped with both feet on the top of this little, plastic slide…..& knew almost instantly that I had just committed
-(MISTAKE #3)-& my last one.
The slide began a slow tilt to the back-while I (with nothing to grab but the wall of the house) began a slow tilt to the front.
It was slow enough that I had two thoughts before I hit the ground,
“THIS is gonna hurt.” (It did-more on that in just a bit)
&
“I hope there are no neighbors watching this inglorious feat!” (there weren’t-that I know of!)
I landed on my hands & knees-thankfully-but there was a sharp, almost instantaneous PAIN in my other foot (the one that HADN’T just gone through the Rubbermaid).
I stood up & felt sick to my stomach with the pain.
& the blood I saw gushing from the bottom of my foot! (seems my foot landed on a rather sharp stick....)
But, the moral of the story is:
ALWAYS CALL TERMINEX IF YOU CAN!!!
(I was gushing so much blood & I felt so sick to my stomach that I called my RN sister to PLEASE come rescue me & help me clean it out. She did, & she thinks I may have punctured a small blood vessel-which would explain all the blood & pain. I now have a bandage & a HUGE bruise on the bottom of my foot-guess I won’t be at the gym for a few days! Ha!)
Hope you get a chuckle out of this-sure didn’t take me long to be laughing at myself!!!
(I just have one question,
"If 'Third Time's a CHARM'......what do THREE MISTAKES EQUAL?!?)
(Please ignore my pathetic pedicure!!!)
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