Ugg...

Started something new......& it's backfiring.  :(

I don 't know if I have ever been this honest on my blog before, but Ruthie is really struggling right now. 

Adoption may sound all romantic & sweet.  But it's not all the time.

She has SUCH anxiety right now-over everything.  It all started when I took her to see a picture of her birthmother that we have stored in our safety deposit box. 

Tonight, (& last night) anxiety reared it's ugly head again, when after reading a story w/ Ana at bedtime, she no longer wanted to go to her room & climb into bed.

Buckets of tears over wanting to sleep w/ Ana.  And being afraid to sleep in her own room.

We got through it tonight.....after a long walk through the house, shutting windows & doors, locking the house & setting the house alarm-together.  But, I still had to sit outside her room for her to fall asleep.

I used to resent this.  But, in the last few months, the Lord has granted me TRUE compassion toward her in this area, & I long to give her the re-assuance she so desperately needs. 

I used to "poo-poo" the idea that she might need more vocal assurance that we LOVE HER-every day.  But, I have seen the power of telling her (several times a day) that we love her, & that she is & will always be-OURS!

And for now, these are small things I can do for her, that prove to her I love her.