"Common Ground": my little corner of the blogosphere where I talk (a lot-wink) about the things that matter most to me: My relationship with my Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ, homeschooling, adoption, homemaking, parenting, "spousing." (yeah, yeah....I know that's not a word.....I made it up-it’s my blog-I can do things like that! Ha!)

Since my life isn’t all that different from yours, hopefully we can find some COMMON GROUND & learn from each other. Please share your thoughts!

Through the Lords’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness!
Lam. 3: 22 & 23

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Monday, January 18, 2010

Do "accountability groups" do anything for you?

The longer I associate myself with these types of groups, the more I think they are just groups that make excuses for one another, & don’t really impact each other for the positive.

I mean, I have been a member at Weight Watchers since I was 17, & what I have discovered about that is that most everyone there loves to make excuses about why they haven’t lost weight-instead of actually using the group to encourage one another to do better. (No, not everyone-I know-I said “most” of them).

Another group I was part of for a while was ONLINE & it was supposed to be a group that encouraged going to bed early & getting up early.

But, more often than not, people just made excuses for why they stayed up later than they should have & thus, slept in later, too.
My child was……puking/crying/bouncing off the walls.”
“My hubby is out of town, so my only free time is at night.”-one of my personal favorites I like to use.
“I lost track of the time.”

Everyone in the group would give cyber hugs & say, “Oh, that’s ok. We completely understand!”

Why don’t people say, “What were you thinking?!?! That’s enough of the excuses! GO to bed!”

I mean, that’s what *I* really need.

I know what the basic problem is, but I really don’t know how to fix it.

I have discovered I have no internal motivation to stick to many of the decisions I make. & without it, accountability groups are sure to fail me! I don’t know how it happened, but I can honestly say I have none (well, almost none!)!

People who just exercise because the decided they needed to or decided not to over eat because they no longer wanted to-they just boggle my mind & I look on in jeaousy, wishing I could somehow gain internal motivation.

But, since I have spent my entire life with almost none, I have no idea how to get it.

So, I was wondering what you out there in bloggerland think.

Do you agree with my assessment of what is often lacking in accountability groups?

Any ideas to help me? (other than praying for me, which I am already doing for myself & I would certainly welcome more!)

This post was completed in about 23 minutes as part of Steady Mom's 30 Minute Blog Challenge!


Shawna said...

I agree with the online accountability. It does seem totally counterproductive with no real ramifications for not following through.

As for mustering up the inside will to do something and stick with it, I try to apply the verse from James. To him who knows the right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin. (roughly paraphrased) I figure I quote it to my kids all the time, and use it in life lessons, it can also apply to what goes in my mouth, whether or not I exercise and how I use my time. ;)

Luke said...

I have never found accountability to be of any benefit in my life.

But maybe I'm just "doin' it wrong" [smile]. The reality is that I will do what I want to do... even if it's something I'd rather I didn't want to do. I need a heart change, not a support group.


se7en said...

There is only one way to make changes in your life and that is to just do it, regardless of support or not. That being said I am off to bed!!!

Susan Tipton said...

I had to laugh when I read this because I've never done an accountability group before- until about two weeks ago. I joined one for working out over at womenlivingwell.com

I sure hope it isn't a bust:)

To be honest my husband has always been my best "accountability friend", because he has no patience for excuses- he keeps me honest. Most of the time I like that.

susan@improvamama said...

While I haven't been part of an accountability group, I have been a part of many groups that struggle with that issue and it is one I struggle with myself. Seems to me that the best external help for me is someone who can help me reflect on what is behind the excuse (and has no qualms about saying "that's just an excuse.") Not sure that I'm so good at doing it for others tho.

turnitupmom said...

Hmmm...there's a lot here. First, I think you deserve better and you owe it to yourself to feel really GOOD. The motivation may not come until you start to see results- wow! I have more energy today!. I take a dance class and sometimes I have to drag myself there. But I am always always glad afterwards. It's so important for my head.
As moms, we're in the business of selfless giving. I really think we can give more when we take good care of ourselves. Go for it!

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