"Common Ground": my little corner of the blogosphere where I talk (a lot-wink) about the things that matter most to me: My relationship with my Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ, homeschooling, adoption, homemaking, parenting, "spousing." (yeah, yeah....I know that's not a word.....I made it up-it’s my blog-I can do things like that! Ha!)

Since my life isn’t all that different from yours, hopefully we can find some COMMON GROUND & learn from each other. Please share your thoughts!

Through the Lords’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness!
Lam. 3: 22 & 23

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

A few random thoughts on adoption……

When we had our adoption training, at one particular class, we discussed a bit about this aspect of adoption:

The difference between saying your children “were adopted” v. “are adopted.”

Why does it make a difference, you ask?

Well, "adopted" is a verb that happens at a specific time, only once in that particular child’s life.

Which has led me to think about the fact that though two of our children WERE ADOPTED,
& now life has kind of moved on.

I am telling you (especially those of you thinking about perhaps adopting) this because I have a unique perspective on this. We have adopted & have a birth child in our family.

I was also thinking about how much I love to watch “Adoption Stories” on DHC. But, before we adopted, I used to love watching “A Baby Story” on TLC. So many happy memories come flooding back when I watch either show-but the day to day of my life is now-JUST PARENTING. & while both ways to form a family are LIFE-CHANGING,
they have become less significant in my day-to-day.
Now, they are just all my kids, if you know what I mean,

Anyway……one other random thought is that Ruth has started LOVING any talk about Guatemala. Often she asks, “I born a baby in Bamala?!?” Then she loves listen to us as we tell her about how she was born there-& about her Birth Mama & their foster family.

Then I wonder…..will she always love her story? Will Natty ask us to repeat it all? I know Ana loves to hear all about when she was born…..will it bother them that we can’t tell them anything about their lives before “us”-except that they were very loved?

I am not really worried about it…….but I do wonder sometimes what our future conversations hold in this area.

Do you (my blog readers) have any thoughts on any of this? Any insights for me?


Gardenia said...

interesting post. I'm really in tune to the difference between was adopted and is adopted. and I kind of cringe inside when I hear people saying is adopted. but I also know that I did not "know" that difference before we entered the adoption process. many times, i think people's comments are merely attempts to connect, not rudeness or or nosiness. I also agree with your statement that now, it's about the day to day, not about how the child came to be a member of our family. in the beginning, it was all about getting the child home -- the love, the anticipation, the worry that something might fall through, and the dreams of what it'll be like. but now, it's about the here and now. nice post, good things to think about and talk about.

Kim & Dave said...

Gardenia-I sometimes long for some of that excitement/anticipation again. Isn't that wierd? Because then, it was one of the worst waits I have ever endured! But, it was also one of the greatest reliefs & joys-when they AT LAST were in our arms FOR GOOD!!!!!

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