"Common Ground": my little corner of the blogosphere where I talk (a lot-wink) about the things that matter most to me: My relationship with my Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ, homeschooling, adoption, homemaking, parenting, "spousing." (yeah, yeah....I know that's not a word.....I made it up-it’s my blog-I can do things like that! Ha!)

Since my life isn’t all that different from yours, hopefully we can find some COMMON GROUND & learn from each other. Please share your thoughts!

Through the Lords’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness!
Lam. 3: 22 & 23

Click on pics to see us up close & personal! :)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Giving Thanks for.........pain.....

Yep......you read that right.........& I promise my title will make more sense by the end of this blog post! :)

A few weeks ago, I sliced open my thumb on my right hand-& yes, like most of the public, I am right-handed.

I am not going to tell you how-it’s too embarrassing & complicated to explain anyway.

But, for several days, it was a major pain to do anything!!!

I put that Neosporin+ Painkiller & a bandaide on it, but if you have ever done something similar, you know just how painful recovery is when you have to use it all the time!!

(I promise I’m not being a hypochondriac-it really was a pretty deep cut!)

Anyway, one morning, as I tried to protect my injury & write at the same time, I had a brainstorm on “A Lesson Learned Though Pain.” (I promise if you hang with me, I’ll make this interesting-just keep reading!)

Really, pain is a gift.

"Huh? What in the world can she mean by THAT?!?" I know some of you are thinking that,right?

The pain on my thumb taught me not to be quite so careless again!!

Pain in life can be a gift, too.

Yes……even the HARDEST pain one can ever endure-saying a forever goodbye to one of your children.

Back in November of 2004……..I couldn’t have said pain was a blessing.

Nope, not at all.

We buried a baby that I carried in my womb for 16 weeks-a baby we had prayed & longed for-for over a year.

Ah, the agony & pain of those few weeks & months!!!

After almost 5 years (& yes, my thoughts always turn toward my baby I won’t know until heaven each November), I can finally say that, yes, pain truly is one of the biggest blessings I have ever been given.

Through our pain, we learned many things....

Mostly, of course, we understood a bit more of what it meant for God the Father when He WILLINGLY gave His ONLY SON to die in our place.

Romans 8:32 (New Living Translation)
Since He did not spare even His own Son but gave Him up for us all, won’t He also give us everything else?

But, also:

~It reminded us of our blessings-Ana was, at one point, our only reason to keep going.
~It forced us to depend on others (which I struggle with).
~It brought us to a point where the grief of others’ no longer scares us as much, & we can more easily comfort those going through pain.
~It drew Dave & I together. He was the ONLY other person on the planet who truly grasped my sorrow-because that baby was a part of him, too.
~The moment I held my baby & said goodbye-made me (for the first time in my life) long for heaven & home……death is such a stinky, rotten deal, you know? But, in heaven, I will see my baby again-where there is “neither sorrow, nor crying & no more pain.”
~It brought us to a point where we KNEW we needed more children. We had the desire before, but after loosing our baby, the desire burned in us like a flame!

We lost our baby right after Thanksgiving 5 years ago. Yes, I still choke back tears when I begin talking about her. (Ana is convinced it was a girl, so we have always said, “her.”)

But, this Thanksgiving, I can truly say-this pain God has allowed in my life has given me much more than it took away!!!

Have you experienced pain that ended up being a gift?

Care to share?

Guatemala City, February 25, 2008, the night before our early morning appointment at the US Embassy!
(Here's more reasons for "Giving Thanks!")


Hannah said...

I could not agree more! The pain I have gone through in my life has shaped my life more than the good times. I actually have come to cherish and thank the Lord for the hard times, they truly changed me for the better.

Taylor family: Tim, Becky, Tabitha said...

Yes, I agree too! I don't want to burden everyone, recalling the painful times in my life. There has been pain, but yes my life is so blessed now and I am SO thankful for what He has given me.

sarahdelap said...

Ah your post hit home. I have a very similiar story and although the glory of adoption helped me through the loss of my Luciana (I was 19 weeks along.) it helped me in a different way. Lilyana was already in my arms so I was helped to see that I already had what I needed. Luciana helped to make me a better mama and a better person and she is always in my heart and always here to remind her mama what being thankful is all about. Also similiar to you I did not suffer loss at this time of year but her due date was last thanksgiving and so she is on my mind more during this holiday.

Kim & Dave said...

The other interesting thing I have discovered about pain is that we all have experienced it. We think everyone else has it all together & their life looks great from outside. But, what I usually find is that they have experienced great pain & sorrow that they have allowed the Lord to use in their lives.

Tina said...

Thanks!!!!! I often wonder if I'm the only one who thinks about a lost child. I think of him in September, when I was due...I think of him during the holidays, when I found out I was pregnant...I think of him in January when i lost him. After nearly five years it still hurts and I imagine it always will. But God had planted the adtopion seed in my heart when I was a little girl and the loss made that seed grow in my heart and Toby and Lili are the result...overflowing my heart in a way I thought would never happen. Love your post today. PS...your mention of longing for Heaven made me think of the song Homesick by Mercy Me...are you familiar? It's what got me through that time in my life....it's on youtube if you want to listen

Kim & Dave said...

No, I don't know the song, Tina. Better find it on Youtube, but I think I'll wait until the kiddos are napping, of they'll all wonder what on earth Mommy is sobbing her eyes out for, lol!

I think it is so important for me to aknowledge our baby in our lives-it helps to give me perspective-& to rmember that each day is a gift & we are not garunteed tomorrow!

Off to hug my kiddos!

Gardenia said...

what a wonderful post. thank you.

vaneblu said...

I agree pains allows us to see clearly the things we sometimes forget about, all the blessings we have in life! I love this post!

Will and Aileen said...

Your post is beatiful and true. We lost my sister and my niece (who was more like a daughter to me as I took care of her as much as her mom did for the first years of her life) in a drunk driving accident 5 years ago. Then we lost our daughter in Guatemala when she died in Jan. 2008. I grieve them all every day. But, from their loss, I learned that nothing is truly lost forever if you know where it is. I've learned the beauty of raising my two nephews that my sister left behind. (Now ages 15 and 17 and absolutely amazing young men). I've learned that losing Ariana was directly responsible for us adopting Ben-his birthmom chose us because of our connection to Ariana's foster family in Guatemala. I've learned that life hurts sometimes, but that the joys outweigh the hurts if you will let them. Thanks for your lovely post.

One Busy Momma said...

It's great to see learning moments and thankful moments in everything...
*hugs* to you and all the other momma's to have angel babies watching over them.

Bob and Cheri said...

The shadow, does indeed, prove the sunshine.

Hugs my dear - great post!

Jaimee said...

Very beautiful post! We had a failed adoption before Isabela's. At the time, getting on the plane in Houston without our baby, was one of most painful things I've ever been through, but without that, I would never known Isabela and it also gave a very human side to the birth mother and the challenges she faces. I always tell people it was one of those life changing/ life growing moments.

Anna said...

Wonderful post and I agree with you. The pain of being unable to have our own biological children has led us to our wonderful 3 adopted kids that we otherwise would never have met or joined our family if things had gone as we had planned...and I am truly thankful for God's provision and perfect plans for my life...he does know what is best. I've learnt to trust Him so much more...even though it has not been easy at times.

Thanks for sharing,


Nora said...

Great post! Thanks for the thoughts! Enjoy your weekend!

Melinda said...

I agree with you and the other commenters...pain is something we can and should be thankful for. It hurts so deeply while in the midst of it but I've never met anyone who hasn't said the pain led them to something big and great and for that they are truly grateful! What a wonderful and insightful post!!

Isabella's mom said...

i am learning to find thankfulness from painful circumstances, like my Isabella also, being self-absorbed and unaware, until my father died , did i consider adoption, and then came my dear child

Marlene said...

So very true! I dont think we could ever enjoy life without having pain somewhere along the way. I am sorry you had to go through what you did.

Danielle said...

Yes, pain is a gift....a hard gift, but a gift from our loving Father. My mother was diagnosed with a rare form of dementia about 3 years ago. My fourth child was born shortly after the diagnosis. It is incredibly hard to watch my mother's decline, but what a gift to live with the joy of watching her interact with my youngest, Reese. I think the pain I feel when I see the two of them together allows me to more fully feel the joy and wonder of their relationship.

se7en said...

Well done on a beautiful post. I have always found that once you know someone a little bit better you discover that nearly all of us have a deep pain - some folk hide it better, some appear to handle it better, but nearly everyone has somewhere experienced something terribly painful and well done you for acknowledging it and growing with it, unbelievably hard as it has been. I hope your Thanksgiving is special.

Trish said...

Isn't it amazing how God can use anything that happens in our lives to make us stronger and closer to him and those we love?

I am sorry for your loss, but so glad that you have been blessed as well. Happy Thanksgiving!

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